Confusion

I'm trying to balance quite a few things lately. IWS used to take up a lot of time but the past few months it's been much slower since I basically just have to maintain and update it - no new issues or developments happening. My dad's business is doing well and the work comes in waves. Some days it's all I do but then I'll go a couple weeks without spending more than a few hours on it. I thought getting a part time job would be the way to go because then I could balance everything effectively but still make some steady money.

But now I'm sending out resumes for a full time job. Everything part time is useless - nothing that will teach me anything new or that really appeals to me. And on top of that, I have to remind myself that I live in the real world and I need to make real money. My new business idea could potentially make a pretty penny .. but there are equal chances that it won't. Unfortunately, I'm really lacking when it comes to sales. I wish I was better at it but I'm just not. And when you're running your own business, sales skills are SO essential.

I started sending out resumes yesterday and just got a call for a phone interview. That means I'll be spending the weekend studying my resume and trying to remember what I did at my last job. Oh joy.

Every day I start out working on one project but then jump to another and then to another. All the jumping makes me feel like I haven't accomplished anything by the end of the day. I made a list - a big 'ol spreadsheet - hoping it would help but I don't think it is. There's too much to do and not enough focus. Maybe it's because I'm sitting at home.

So now here I go on my search for a full time job in the city - which means a 1.5 hour commute every morning and every evening (along with my hubby). Then I'll fit in updates on IndianWeddingSite.com, work on my new project, work on Dad's business, and also find time to build muscle at the gym.

Maybe it's because since I quit my job I've had my own schedule and now I'm just freaked out about how I'm going to fit everything into one day and still keep focused. When I started working on IWS while at my last job, it was exciting. I enjoyed coming home in the evening and putting in a few hours on my side project. Don't know if I'll have that same joy after I get a job now.

Anyways, sorry for the rant - I guess I had to get it all out of my system. Last night I burst into tears in bed thinking I was a failure. And I'm not even PMS'ing! Hopefully I'll loosen up because tonight is date night with the hubby =)